“Some of our friends wonder about you.”
I realize your best friends are always supposed to be honest with you. And this friend was being honest. Maybe too honest.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, I mean, you homeschool but here you are having a drink with me.” She looks down to her hands resting in her lap. “And, well, you know.”
I smiled. I understand. Homeschool moms aren’t usually the ones you find sipping cocktails with single girlfriends in a bar, downtown on a Friday night. We usually aren’t the ones with a glaring past – one that can be shameful, painful, embarrassing at best.
But this is normal for me.
I get it. I really do. Once I decided to homeschool our two kids a few years ago, most of my friends stepped back from our relationship knowing their sons and daughters were heading off to public Kindergarten. They found it odd I preferred to bring my children home and spend more time with them when this was my opportunity to “find myself.”
I’ll never know how they felt or what they thought (or still do) despite my understanding that we’re all different and that’s OK. We’re ALL wired and knit together differently, and for good reason.
Thankfully, these really good, honest friends stuck around despite their confusion in my life choices. I even picked up a handful of new friends on a similar, yet often as lonely of a journey as mine.
But I no longer get annoyed when people tell me I’m strange or confusing. I rejoice in knowing God made me unique.
And when it comes to being multifaceted – I embrace it. I wasn’t created for one purpose only, nor am I only good at doing one thing. And I believe we’re ALL created like this.
I may desire to be the best cook, gardener, knitter and math (ok, English) teacher to my children. And I may desire to be simply a homeschool/stay-at-home mom.
But the truth is, I’m only pretty good at these things. I’m definitely not great at them.
I know how to read a recipe and that seems to work out well enough for the mouths scarfing down the food. Our spring garden is now quite overgrown (I admit our automatic sprinkler system did most the work on those 100 degree days). I’m only halfway through a scarf I started last year for our son and I’d be utterly surprised if I finish it this fall. I’m still learning how to embrace different ways to teach each child, being patient when things get rough and gently guiding them through life. Hiring a math tutor (per our son’s request) wasn’t so hard after all.
And I still love being an entrepreneur – it’s just who I am.
There are a hundred other things I’m okay at. But I’m definitely not amazing at almost anything. I simply love my family… and I figure I can run on this most of my days.
But the most important pursuit is to understand and love who I am.
I am imperfect. I am creative. I am bold. I’m spontaneous. I am athletic. I’d like to say I’m a decent wife, an overly-loving mother, a not-so-great-at-times but understanding daughter, a fun sister, and a picky and sometimes fickle yet loyal friend.
I’m human. And thus, I am multifaceted.
It’s when I set out to be a perfect human (an entity that doesn’t exist on earth) that I falter and become destructive to my own soul.
It’s when I set out to be a perfectionist in some capacity of my life that my real relationships slowly become torn apart.
And I love hiking and reading and traveling and spending time with friends doing crazy, fun, off-the-wall things no one needs to read about on here.
And if that makes me multifaceted – then awesome. I’ll take it.
Thank you, my dear friend, for helping me see this.