As the sun descended behind the mountains, I drove alone toward a quant downtown pub, applying lipstick at red lights and trying to remember how long it’s been since I’d seen my girlfriends – all fellow mamas I’ve known since our firstborns were babies.
But this mom’s night was different.
I knew in my gut although this was “my time” to recharge as a homeschooling mom, it was no longer something I lived for. Nor was it something I looked forward to nearly as much as I did before I started homeschooling.
Gone are the days where I listened to awful music, huddled in a girlfriend’s apartment excited for the drinking and dancing and boys.
Gone are the days in my corner office typing away as night fell, climbing the corporate ladder, trying to please my boss.
Gone are the days working alongside my husband in our small business we started in 2008 during the economic downturn – surviving together, paycheck to paycheck, only to get pregnant and go to meetings with a full belly and mind full of trepidation of how we were going to pay for another human being.
Gone are the days of trying my best to “do it all” and keep all the plates spinning by helping earn money for the family while caring for a newborn and a four-year-old son.
Gone are the days when I look forward to hanging out with anyone but our little family of four.
Homeschooling has completely shifted my feelings, thoughts and emotions centered around happiness.
Happiness to me, now, comes from the simplest forms of love. The love in my marriage. The sibling love I witness daily since my children spend most waking moments in each other’s company. The love of minimal living.
Happiness now is sharing our days life-learning together.
Comfort comes from listening to my husband on a conference call in the other room as I make coffee and sit down to read our devotional. I feel purpose as I’m asked for help from my children on their projects. Joy comes in the form of reading together on the couch. Gratefulness overcomes me as watching my children work together in harmony. Excitement shows up as we connect with other like-minded homeschoolers on a hike.
Not many people get the opportunity to feel, in their gut, this incredible transformation into knowing you’re fulfilling your life’s purpose. And I’m humbled by this season God has gifted me, my children and our household with.
I get to raise warriors of God… I’m not sure it gets better than that!
The other day I thanked my husband for taking on the difficult job of providing for our family so I could now focus on my passion – spending these precious, brief moments we receive with our children and helping them find their purpose as they explore, learn and grow every day.
I often think, Wouldn’t it be awesome if everyone felt this way?
It took time. It took a lot of prayer asking for clarity and guidance. And it takes support, encouragement, grace, understanding and uncertainty at times. But I finally feel I’ve arrived.
I feel I’m finally part of the big picture now… a legacy impacting generations to come.