A little mama encouragement:
I often have dreams about flying. I glide from tree to tree or lift off the ground into the blue openness leaving all fears behind. Then my consciousness wakes up. It wakes in each time saying “you can’t fly!” So my body slowly starts drifting back to the ground despite my disagreement until I finally stand — usually surrounded by trees.
Then it hits me. I was flying. I can fly. So why can’t I fly now?
I drum up all my dreamlike energy and try to lift my feet back off the ground. With all my might, I reach my arms up and out, mimicking the tree’s branches I’m standing next to. It’s much taller than I am and I just want to float back up to the top so I can see above it.
So I squint and grunt and jump. But I can’t seem to escape the dirt beneath my feet. When I muster what I have inside of my body I find there’s an empty hole I can’t fill. I don’t have Tinkerbell’s pixie dust. I don’t have wings. I don’t believe.
And then it’s like clockwork. Every dream. I stop trying. I stop trying to reach high. I stop trying to raise my arms and I just close my eyes and let it happen. When I open my eyes again I’m in the air, gliding like a bird among the clouds. Above the trees I was standing amid so far below.
I’m flying like I was before when I wasn’t focused on anything else but the basic belief that I could fly. Why shouldn’t I?
It reminds me of life. It reminds me of how every time I try to be a good parent I often fail. It reminds me of how every time I try to be a good writer or spouse or friend, I generally fail.
But when I stop trying and let Jesus work through me, all the pieces come together and I watch it all happen for me. Somehow my parenting skills aren’t important anymore, but my kids feelings are and that’s what matters in that moment. My writing skills, my marriage, my friendships aren’t nearly as important as my relationship with Him is. And He loves working through me, not alongside me.
It reminds me of Galatians 3:11 that says, “..No one can be made right with God by trying… “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.”
All this to say, it’s impossible to drum up the energy to get up and face life every day if you don’t know why you’re called to even exist. But when you let Him lead you out of bed, it all seems to come together seamlessly — without effort. Because it’s what you were literally born to do. And whatever you’re doing at this moment is because He planned it. No kidding.
So why is it so hard to believe that He can also lead your life in a way that makes a difference?
We can’t stop there, though. What would happen if all we did was believe? In my quest to become a “better person” I find although it’s crucial I allow His spirit to work through me, I have to act upon his urging.
“For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” James 2:26.
We can’t accomplish everything we want to in one day. But we can allow Him to work through us every day and it will eventually lead us to a fulfilled life. It’s impossible not to.
No, I won’t be a better mom, spouse, writer, friend or person tomorrow. All I can do is know God will do the work through me and all I really have to do is trust. Life can only get better from here as I soar among the clouds with Him.